When Life Feels Like Too Much
Finding Comfort in the Psalms
When Life Feels …
This past Thursday, my husband and I watched as his 20-year-old daughter graduated from Navy Basic Training at Great Lakes Naval Base in Illinois. It wasn't an easy journey with all she endured during the 9-week boot camp, but she did it!
It wasn’t easy for us, either. On our way to Illinois, two days before graduation and only 2 1/2 hours into the 16-hour drive, my car's engine light came on, and the engine started sputtering.
My car has been the dependable one, safely carrying me back and forth on more than twenty (!!) MA-to-IL trips over the past few years as cancer ravaged my mom’s body. It took us on longer trips to Prince Edward Island and North Carolina, shorter ones to Rhode Island, to visit my daughter and her family in Connecticut, daily trips around the Boston area for work, and building my new shop at This Rooted Life Co in Foxboro, MA.
But now? Well, now it sits about 2 hours away in a repair shop’s parking lot, engine damaged, waiting for the long tow home.
As I type these words, the children’s book The Giving Tree* comes to mind. Maybe because the car has given so much, just as the storied tree did, until there wasn’t much left to give.
Gosh, I relate to the tree and my car.
Suffice it to say it’s been a difficult few years, and I’m weary. This new conflict isn’t insurmountable, but it’s tiring.
I relate to the psalmists who penned: “My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long?” Psalm 6:3, NIV
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” Psalm 13:1, NIV
I’m not trying to be overly dramatic, but sometimes, life is exhausting. It feels like it’s all just too much and beyond my ability to persevere.
Can you relate? Have you ever felt caught in the turbulence of pounding waves?
The bills. The health challenges. The relational crises. The worries that linger throughout the day.
Scripture is pretty clear that though the details of our current age are different, the struggle is real.
Jesus said to his disciples: “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
In other words, the question isn’t if you’ll have trials, but when.
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If that’s the case, how do we respond when we feel life just keeps coming at us?
I don’t know how you might respond, but here’s what I choose in real time.
First, I cry.
Yep. Whether I like it or not, that’s been my morning—lots of tears. I recently started a book about tears (Learning to Cry: Why Our Tears Matter*) because I’ve shed buckets over the years, so much so that some have encouraged me to get my emotions under control.
Turns out, crying is healing. Physically, tears flush stress hormones while releasing endorphins and oxytocin to ease emotional and physical pain. An article from Harvard Medical School states that “crying is an important safety valve.” Have you ever heard someone say they just needed a good cry? That’s why —the valve needs to be opened.
I got that one down.
As I cry, I am also talking with my husband. This hasn’t always been the case. My previous marriage wasn’t emotionally safe, though the tears still came. But with Russ? After nine years of marriage, we realize we’re pretty good together. Getting where we are today has taken a lot of time, conversation, prayer, laughter, fun, and much healing. And for all of the good, I’m grateful.
This leads me to my next step: seeking God’s goodness in the midst of it all. This isn’t about toxic positivity or a Pollyanna mindset—it’s about actively looking for God’s hand at work.
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Years ago, after my daughter Emma died and we lost everything in a house fire, my oldest daughter entered high school. Life is already tough at that age, but navigating grief and the loss of her home? That was a lot for her teenage heart, mind, and soul.
I knew bitterness lurked. Just watch any TV show or movie where someone loses a child, and you’ll see them characterized with anger, bitterness, resentment, or delusions. I prayed against bitterness —for my daughter and for me.
So I focused on verses like Psalm 27:13. “Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” I realized that following Jesus wasn’t just about what was to come —heaven, but experiencing His goodness, love, and mercy now, here on earth.
At first, I struggled to see it. There was so much hardship after Emma died, but I asked God to show me, and He did. I also tried to show my daughter. I gave her space to talk about her hardships and difficulties, validate her experiences and emotions, and then asked her to think about two or three good things that happened. With practice, she, too, began to witness God’s goodness in her life as we both navigated the complexities of grief and life without Emma.
So, to stay true to this discipline, here are two ways I’ve seen God’s protection and provision over the past few days.
Our car issues started two miles before the only rest stop within a 50-mile stretch on the tollway in western Massachusetts. There were literally no exits for another 25 miles ahead of us (we figured that out when we sought the best option to tow the car), and it was dark (10 pm). The tow truck drove almost an hour to take us the 15 miles to the shop because of the limited number of roads.
We currently have an “extra” car as Russ’s daughter attends A-School in San Diego for the next three months. His oldest son drove her car two hours to meet us so we didn’t miss her graduation from boot camp.
Some might call that a coincidence. I believe it’s God’s goodness. I write because I don’t want to forget, which leads me to the next thing I do.
Remember
Some days, I feel like my memory is short, a bit like the Israelites traveling through the desert. Imagine a couple of million people trudging through the wilderness together. Sure, they witnessed the miracle of God parting the Red Sea, saving them from the Egyptians’ pursuit, but that didn’t mean life got easier. My guess, and I’m not a theologian or scholar, but I can only imagine that the weariness of the desert quickly replaced the awe of the Red Sea. Hot, tired, and hungry, they started thinking about the “comfortable” life they left behind —the days they had easy access to food and water, though they forgot it was at the cost of being enslaved.
How often do we do that? We struggle through our current trials, reminiscing about times when we felt more comfortable, often forgetting the struggles we endured then.
Maybe that’s why God called His people over 350 times to remember all He had done for them: They forgot His faithfulness.
The prophet Jeremiah knew this —“The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:” Lamentations 3:19-21
What did he remember?
God’s faithful love
God’s unceasing mercy
God’s enduring faithfulness (Lamentations 3:19-23)
Even as I write this, I remember how He sustained me through Emma’s death and every year since. Like the psalmists, I cried out for help, and I remember the myriad of ways He responded. I trust He will do it again (Here’s a great song to help you remember He will!).
“Sustain me, and I will be rescued; then I will meditate continually on your decrees.” Psalm 119:117
“Lord, sustain me as you promised, that I may live! Do not let my hope be crushed.” Psalm 119:116
“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
This is one of the main reasons I journal. Yes, I use that space to process and record all.the.things. Sometimes, I fill those pages with rants and worries. But then I read what my younger self wrote, only to see the path God led me through and my experiences of God’s goodness. My journal becomes sacred and holy as I meet His Spirit on the pages, witness my sorrow and trials, and keep track of His hand in my life.
(I taught a message about this at Church of Emmanuel in Foxboro, MA.)
But ultimately, as I remember, my soul is stirred toward hope—hope to persevere, to trust, to believe God is working, has worked, and will work once more.
Much like the pattern the psalmists use (remember, I’m not a theologian, just a woman choosing to follow Jesus the best she can), I write:
Here’s the problem, Lord. It’s really bad.
Are you there, God? It’s me, again.
I’m worried and scared. Will you help?
You were good and faithful and kind before. I remember.
Will you be that way again? I think so. I trust You.
I praise you for your goodness and mercy.
My thoughts, worries, praises, and petitions eventually lead me to gratitude. Not because there are answers or miraculous moments of provision (though those have happened), but because I am emboldened to press on and trust Him.
Finally, we’ll take the next step. I don’t always know what will happen, but I’m learning that’s okay. For now, we’re towing my car back home. We don’t have the money to fix it, so here’s to a "no-drive-in-June” month. After that, we’ll figure out what to do next.
I know we’ll get through because we’ve done it before. (Here’s an article I wrote for InTouch Ministries about going through it, based on another kid’s book*.) I trust things will work out because God is faithful. It’s this in-between that’s got me puzzled. While the next bit of time won’t be easy or without sacrifice, I’ll return to the Psalms and find comfort as I remind myself that we don’t travel alone.
I’m curious … how do you navigate trials and tricky situations? What verses do you cling to in times of trouble? How have you seen God’s goodness in your life?
“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!” Psalm 43:5, NLT
Women’s Devotional Bible: The Message
A few years ago, I was invited to participate in a writing project to create a women’s devotional Bible based on Eugene Peterson’s The Message alongside dozens of other Christian women authors worldwide.
After much work, editing, and review, NavPress will officially release The Women’s Devotional Bible: The Message* on August 5! You can preorder a copy now. You can also order The Gospels and their accompanying devotions* now!
Curious which author wrote which devotion? Each author is listed in the index at the back with the devotions they wrote. I’m honored to be a part of this project and celebrate the release with all the other authors who contributed.
*These are affiliate links. If you purchase books through these links, I receive a small commission from Bookshop.org, a platform supporting independent bookstores by helping them maintain their presence in local communities.
Thank you for pointing me back to Jesus and also reminding me that it's okay to cry! I appreciate you so, so much, friend.
Kim, I so much appreciate everything you wrote here. I could sit and talk with you for hours about some of these topics. One of the first published articles I wrote decades ago was simply called “Big Girls do Cry.” I’ve often joked that I’m part of a frequent cryers club! Tears are incredibly releasing. On another note, as I mentioned when I saw you at Singing Hills, I am going to move to Substack soon. Meeting with my web helper today to discuss it. If you have any tips for me, I’d welcome them! I’m also working on a new book proposal, and saving this particular post to get your permission later to perhaps quote you.