Trust the Process

Being okay with the messy middle

Collision

The first floor of our house is a mess.

I’m not being humble or even slightly exaggerating. The first floor of our home is an absolute mess as two worlds collide —my vintage resale business and parenting.

I’m in my 50s. This isn’t about those early years of parenting when toddlers move quicker than lightning and toys on the shelf now dapple the living room floor like an American Gladiator’s obstacle course.

Nope. At this age, I thought we’d be empty-nesting. Instead, just last night, we welcomed one adult child back into our home with his pregnant girlfriend-now-wife (I’m still processing) and a truckload of stuff. While their details are not mine to share, they need a soft place to land. My husband and I decided to offer that space.

But it doesn’t happen without upheaval. Stacks of boxes and glassware and baby clothes and stuff are e v e r y w h e r e.

Change of Course

Back when my mom was still alive, I decided to leave my full-time job in marketing and communications to create a lifestyle I wanted —one that afforded flexibility, time for me to help my parents, as my mom died of cancer. Living 1,000 miles apart, I realized the work/life balance I needed to be physically present wasn’t compatible with the 9-5p nonprofit grind.

So, I resigned.

As I searched my longing to create a life I enjoyed, vintage reselling topped my list. I remembered my great aunt placing a carnival glass candy dish in my 10-year-old hand. I became fascinated by things that lasted longer than I had lived. A few decades later, after fire destroyed our home, my longing for “old” things, the stuff that endured, grew. Then my mom, in her 60s, started her own adventure into reselling vintage and antiques, and I was hooked.

Carnival Glass

But it wasn’t just about the reselling. I also wanted to try my hand at up-cycling, restoring, and redesigning furniture. As a young single mom, I “flipped” my childhood kitchen table and chairs with white paint and pastel plaid fabric. Though today's me shudders at what I did to that MCM table and chairs, it was fun and reflected my 20-something’s taste and style.

I launched my shop (This Rooted Life Co) in October 2024, days before I left to help care for my mom. Inventory was stacked in various corners and on thrifted shelves, ready to be displayed in my corner of the store. A few months later, I took a furniture painting class since my earlier dabbling in flipping left much to be desired.

Trust the process

I showed up to the class with a small $5 table. I wouldn't be out much if I royally messed it up.

Funny how I do that. I think about what could go wrong and why something won’t work. Instead of considering how maybe, just maybe, it could work out well, I’d end up with a beautifully refreshed piece of furniture.

Transforming the table

The class began as the instructor explained the first step.

Prep

Preparing the piece may be one of the most important steps in the process, and it’s probably the least fun. We dipped our rags into the soapy bucket and started cleaning our piece. Nothing seemed to change … until I noticed the murky water now filled with the grime that once covered the table.

Once dry, we lightly sanded the entire piece. After sanding the bumps and blemishes, we wiped them again to remove the dust. The self-leveling paint would do most of the work, but only if we prepared our pieces well.

First coat

"Trust the process." Our instructor warned us that our furniture would look worse before it got better, but to remember it’s all part of the process. We need to trust it and keep going.

Sure enough, she was right. Even though I added a fairly thick first coat, the paint didn’t cover everything. Slightly streaky, the old green paint poked through. I looked around and saw other people’s work —theirs seemed pretty good. Many chatted and laughed with friends as they worked. They trusted the process; why shouldn’t I?

Once the first coat was done, we walked away to let it dry. While the paint took a few weeks to cure fully, a second coat could be added about 20 minutes later.

Second coat

After walking around the store a bit, we returned to our projects and added the second coat. You could hear each person excitedly comment on the difference that the second coat made. The new color replaced the old as the self-leveling paint settled into corners and dings, doing its job.

Pleased with how it turned out, I bought some paint and decided to update the table’s twin. While it wasn’t a professional, no-flaw job, I was learning and wanted to try again. After a few of weeks of curing, I brought the tables to my shop. Two weeks after that, they sold!

Painting the twin

Trust the process … for you and for me

Do you ever wish we had a similar instructor for life? I do.

Yes, you’re going to be okay.

That conflict? It won’t last long.

The trial? It’s removing some rough patches.

The waiting? You’re growing stronger, more resilient.

Beauty is coming your way.

Be patient. Allow God to do His work in you.

The Bible calls this working out our faith (Philippians 2:12-13), theologians call it sanctification … the process of becoming more like Jesus.

Author Madeline L’Engle described it this way: “A self is not something static, tied up in a pretty parcel and handed to the child, finished and complete. A self is always becoming.”

But just like becoming impatient during a furniture flip or home renovation, we may get caught in the messy middle and lose sight of what God is doing in us. We want to resemble Jesus, but may not want the experiences and trials that refine us.

“Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life emerges! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him.”

2 Corinthians 5:17-18

I’m sitting here writing because I’m avoiding the mess downstairs. We moved and prepared the bedroom for my husband’s son and his bride to move in. We cleaned and prepared as best we could, though we moved much of my shop’s inventory now sits in our living space. While I plan to set up the basement as a better workspace, it’s a lot. A lot of mental, physical, and emotional work.

We’ll get there, though. I’ve experienced God’s process of healing, growing, and developing resilience before, so I know we’ll be okay. We’ll get through this, too.

And so will you, with whatever you’re facing, not in a toxic positivity way, but in the way of God’s grace and faithfulness.

So, I suppose it’s time to close my laptop, move some boxes, and keep going. Not only is God creating something new in me, expanding my heart and strengthening my faith, but I believe He’s creating a safe place for two young adults whose hearts may just turn toward His.

And that’s worth this messy middle.

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Questions to consider:

1. What are you facing now that may require you to trust the process?

2. What’s another Bible verse that comes to mind that encourages you to trust the process?

3. How can you create space for someone else in the messy middle? After all, we need each other, don’t we?

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Prayer

Lord, thank you for being present with us, never leaving or forsaking us. Forgive us for all the times we forget you’re near. Forgive us when we allow worry or fear or even frustration to win. Help us to shift our gaze from the messiness of life to the majesty of your grace and goodness. Encourage our hearts today. Amen.

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